


Take a walk

by Punklynx



Category: Super Dangan Ronpa 2
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Anxiety, Author is trans, Bisexual Hinata Hajime, Despair Disease (Dangan Ronpa), Dissociative Identity Disorder, Everyone Is Gay, Fluff and Angst, Gay Komaeda Nagito, Hinata Hajime Has Despair Disease, Hinata Hajime and Kamukura Izuru Are Merged, Hinata Hajime and Kamukura Izuru Share a Body Simultaneously, Hinata Hajime/Komaeda Nagito-centric, How Do I Tag, Hurt/Comfort, Island Mode (Dangan Ronpa), Kamukura Izuru Has Feelings, Kamukura Izuru Project | Hope Cultivation Plan, Komahina - Freeform, LGBTQ Themes, M/M, Medical Inaccuracies, Medical Trauma, Neo World Program (Dangan Ronpa), Not Beta Read, Not Canon Compliant, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, POV Hinata Hajime, POV Kamukura Izuru, POV Komaeda Nagito, Panic Attacks, Post-Neo World Program (Dangan Ronpa), Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Self-Harm, Sickfic, Slow Burn, Slow To Update, Some Humor, Spoilers, Suicidal Thoughts, Swearing, Tired Hinata Hajime, Trans Hinata Hajime, Trans Komaeda Nagito, Trans Male Character, im so sorry, not all angst I swear, not fetishization, sorry - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-13
Updated: 2021-02-12
Packaged: 2021-03-10 21:13:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 14,881
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28043724
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Punklynx/pseuds/Punklynx
Summary: What happens when Hajime has anxiety, and can’t sleep? Maybe just take a walk on the beach. That’s the plan anyways, until a certain Nagito Komaeda decides to tag along.TLDR: they go on a walk by chance, things happen from therePlease note no real gore is happening, just intrusive thoughts down the line! I will try to put any trigger warnings I deem necessary at the beginnings!
Relationships: Hinata Hajime/Komaeda Nagito, Kamukura Izuru/Komaeda Nagito
Comments: 34
Kudos: 197





	1. Chapter 1

Hajime laid in his bed, for what had felt like hours, more than likely it had been thirty minutes, but for some reason his brain just wouldn’t  _ shut up _ . He had only been on, presumably, jabberwock island for a week. Intrusive thoughts filled him to the brim, filling his brain with stuffing. Thoughts of not being good enough, jabs at his confidence, body, personality, ideals-

“Okay. That’s it.” He said aloud, fed up with it.  _ ‘If it’s going to keep going like this I’m gonna go for a walk. Maybe it’ll tire itself out.’  _ He thought to himself with annoyance.  _ ‘I’m not just gonna take it from a bunch of irrational thoughts dammit!’  _ He huffed, sitting up in bed. He slid on a large grey hoodie over his shirt + tank top combo.

_ ‘Hm. It looks strange.. we’re on a tropical island the lowest it’s getting tonight is maybe 45°. It looks suspicious Hajime.. maybe just, put the binder back on? But I already wore it for too long today, and the past week! I can’t just keep wearing it, it’ll, I dunno, mess up my ribs or something right? But if the goal is to have nobody know..’  _ “ **Argh** .” He said of frustration. “You’re not going to see anybody Hajime, shut the fuck up and go.” 

He took in a deep breath, slid on a pair of flip-flops and headed out. It was startling having to take such a sharp turn out of the cottage at first, but he had the hang of it. Mostly. After almost falling off the side he took in another sharp inhale, and let go of the irritation, and kept on walking. Making a right and heading out to the beach. It should’ve just been that easy, but alas. 

“Hey Hajime!” A familiar voice hailed from the pool. Hajime turned to find Nagito sitting on the side, feet in the water. He blinked out of surprise, out of habit he felt his shoulders slouch forward, a sudden wave of anxiety filled his gut. 

“Oh. Hey Nagito.” He finally said after what felt like years. Hajime found himself walking over, the very least to not have to shout to talk to one another. The white haired teen stood up, pulling a pair of flip flops over his feet. 

“So, what are you doing up this late Hajime?” 

“Just going for a walk. Couldn't sleep.” 

“Mind if I tag along?” Nagito asked, but before Hajime could answer, he cut in. “Ah! Of course don’t feel obligated to bring trash like me along with you! If you want me to go away and leave you alone forever just say so!”

Hajime, knowing Nagto would continue to degrade himself unless hajime said something, butt in, “Sure.” The ultimate luck looked at him with shock, suddenly aware he was welcome. 

“A-are you sure? I mean I-“

“Yes Nagito, let’s go.” He felt the warmth of the taller boy’s smile fall onto his shoulders. 

“Alrighty then. Were to?” 

Hajime thought for a moment. “I wasn’t really planning on going anywhere in particular, the beach maybe.” He said, shrugging. 

“Then off we go!” And they did. The pair walked off, shutting the large wooden gate behind them, careful not to lock it accidentally somehow. They walked in silence for awhile, about halfway there hajime was the one who spoke.

“So, what were you doing up Nagito?” And almost immediately the taller boy’s eyes widened and his body pricked with shock.

“Hahaha, nothing Hajime, just relaxing.” He said, his shoulders visibly forced themselves to relax.

“I could’ve sworn you were afraid of water, I think you said something about your luck?”

“You’re quite observant, I’m surprised you even notice scum like me.” Hajime rolled his eyes a little at the statement.

“Sorry it was a little rude of me to judge you, no hard feelings?” 

“None at all hajime.” He chuckled again, his expression calming back down, his aura was no longer so suffocatingly paranoid. Hajime brushed it off as something Nagito didn’t want to talk about,  _ ‘I need to keep a better eye on him, just in case,’  _

“So, how are you enjoying the island so far?” Nagito asked, pulling Hajime out of his thoughts. The brunette took a moment to think about his answer.

“Uh. It’s kinda claustrophobic, with that bear, monokuma I think? I really thought we would have to like, kill one another. I dunno maybe I’m just paranoid.” Hajime said, eyes focused on the ground beneath him, noticing the sand particles getting more and more frequent.

“I know what you mean. I can go if that’s what you were insinuating! I don’t mind at all, I’m sure you don’t really want me here Hajime, and that’s okay! I don’t mind leaving at all,” he said, face gentle, hands clasped together.

“N-no Nagito I want you here, I meant more like.. being around 15 other people all the time all day. Your company isn’t as bad as you think it is.” He finished, feeling more anxious than he was in his room.  _ ‘Does he hate me and is just looking for a reason to excuse himself?’  _ Nagito didn’t reply for a moment, his micro expressions revealing the same gut clenching anxiety. 

“Hm. I know how you feel haha! It must be nice having an actually good talent, nothing as useless as luck.” Nagito said, looking at Hajime, who was still focused on the ground. 

“I don’t even know what my talent is though,” he said, tone not particularly upset or anxious, monotone at best. Nagito responded by patting his shoulder. 

“Aww don’t be upset Hajime! I’m sure your talent is brimming with hope!” He said, eyes sparkling with excitement. Hajime smiled, looking up at Nagito, making eye contact for a brief moment before looking away at the stars.

“Haha, I hope you’re right.” He said, feeling lighter than he did before he left. They continued walking in silence until they got to the beach, Hajime took a moment to look at the scenery. The ocean reflected the sky, it was like two mirrors looking into one another, the mostly full moon thankfully lit up the area. It was pretty damn beautiful, he felt more comfortable than he had in awhile. 

Of course his brain decided to be a little bitch boy and reminded him of the awkwardness on his first day here. Pressured into swimming, no way in hell was he about to do that with a bunch of strangers, damn he didn’t even do that with his friends back home. Well, his friends were pieces of shit anyways. Suddenly bitter he took in a deep breath and let it out. 

“Everything okay Hajime?” Head suddenly out of his ass hajime snapped back to attention. “I just asked you a question and you spaced out on me.” He awkwardly chuckled. 

“Oh! Uh. Yeah, sorry. Lost in thought.” He said, shoulders instinctively tightening upwards. “Wanna walk down the pier?” Hajime asked, trying to not be a huge stick in the mud. Nagito hummed in response, and so they did. “Man it’s nice out.” He said, trying to ignore the way he felt sweat begin to prick out of his pores. It was easily 60° and Hajime was a dumb bitch wearing a tank top, t-shirt, and a hoodie. The cargo shorts did help a little, but not much. 

“You’re right! It really is.” He said, sitting down at the edge of the pier. He pulled the green flip flops off his feet and set them to his left, scooting over enough so there was room on his right for Hajime. Nagito dipped his feet into the icy water while hajime sat down next to him, doing the same, not trusting his flip flops to stay on against the tide hajime set them to his right.

Hajime leaned back onto his elbows behind him, looking up at the sky, admiring the clear quality. “You know Nagito, you make good company.” He said nonchalantly, the words having left his mouth before he realized it. Hajime looked over at Nagito, who looked like he had seen a ghost. “What’s wrong?” Hajime said, suddenly sitting up, worrying if he had said something wrong, panic coating his nerves immediately.

“N-nothing! I just.” He smiled, a content look spread across his face. “I don’t really have a lot of friends. N-not insinuating you’d ever be friends with trash like me Hajime! But your company means a lot to me.” He said, hands fidgeting with the string on his hood. 

“Of course you’re my friend Nagito. Sure you’re a little.. strange.. sometimes, but you’re still my friend. Why does that surprise you so much?” Hajime said, the panic spike in his gut no longer bothersome, and had calmed into a small hill instead of an ice spike. 

“It’d be just my luck haha, I get lucky enough to have someone tolerate me, and then something tragic will happen to them, i had a friend once, when I was younger, she looked a lot like you, Hajime.” Nagito smiled looking at him, “maybe that’s why I cling to you so much. Well, anyways, her parents split up, and she moved, that was, what, 8 years ago? So when I was 8.” Hajime looked at Nagito confusion on his face.

“Well, what was her name?” Hajime asked quietly, scratching his brain, it felt like there was something  _ so  _ familiar but he couldn’t place it. Not with his sudden memory loss he hardly remembered his parents, only remembered bits and pieces of friends and childhood memories.

“Hanako Hinata.” He smiled, hajime felt like his world was collapsing. Maybe that’s because it was, the edge of the peer suddenly creaked, and snapped beneath them, throwing them both into the chilly dark waves. 

Hajime really wasn’t sure where he was. The cold water had knocked the wind out of him, the waves cracking him into the wooden pier behind him didn't help either. He felt a nauseating dizziness consume him, he somehow opened his eyes against the stinging salt water, and with what felt like all of his energy, kicked off the wooden pillar up to the surface. Breaking water made things much easier. Minus the sputtering for breath, the pull of the tide was no longer murderous, and instead was calm.

Too calm. Where was Nagito? Panic filled Hajime for the umpteemth time that evening, and looked beneath him, around him, above him, no luck.  _ ‘Shit!’  _ He thought, eyes widening, he kept them open as he ducked his head under. There he was, jacket caught on a splintered piece of wood, if Hajime could see the utter panic on his face he would’ve been absolutely terrified. 

The skinny boy was thrashing around, Hajime was sure he had cut himself on something, the light was absolutely shitty, it was impossible to tell, lucky for Nagito his hair was white, it stuck out against the seemingly black waves that felt like it went on forever.

Swimming like he never had before, Hajime tried to pop his ears under the pressure as he went deeper, avoiding touching the wood in fear of the same thing happening. Nagito struggled against the pillar, somehow wrapped up in his jacket, frantically trying to unzip it, underwater though it just wouldn’t. By the time Hajime had reached him Nagito had passed out, but swiftly pulled the hood out between the splintered piece of wood,  _ ‘okay Hinata, you can do this. You’re not going to let him die!’  _

Of course it was much easier said than done. Dragging him up to the surface was pretty easy, getting his head to stay up, was not. Panic tightened his veins, he felt the pressure of going back up pop his brain, he had to screw his eyes shut against the numbing irritation of the salt water. But damn if he didn’t try. Going up about 15 feet with an extra 100 or so pounds of limp human was hard. Not having any breath and panicking was also hard.  _ ‘Fuck! Come on you have to do this!’  _

Kicking against the tide, the farther away from the angry pull of the tide the easier it got, anxious to keep Nagito from slipping from his grasp Hajime held him with both hands. Legs exhausted, he could feel the lactic acid pumping though, they did not want anything to do with swimming. He found it somewhere within himself to keep going up, and then he did it.

Breaking the water Hajime sharply inhaled, panting, his lungs ached and burned as he coughed up stinging salty water, he looked at his unconscious friend, and regained his resolve. Getting onto his back and having Nagito on his chest so he could at least keep both of them floating and paddling with at least one arm was the best possible way to get them to shore. Of course it would be embarrassing as fuck if Nagito was awake, not even a bra on, tiddies straight up just out underneath his clothes. 

_ ‘Oh my god I’m so tired Jesus fuck. I just need to make it to shore, make it out of the water and everything will be so much easier,’  _ he said inwardly, almost like a mantra, determined to keep going even as his body creaked and groaned he wouldn’t stop. Of course he ran. Sometimes. But that physical activity couldn’t have prepared Hajime for the hell that this was. 

So all and all, Nagito’s unconsciousness was a blessing and a curse. Panting, struggling to keep them alive, hajime found the sand finally beneath his feet, “thank god.” He said breathlessly, finally able to stand, he was now dragging Nagito through the last bit of water, he pulled him onto the sand, dragging him away from the waves until only his feet were being gently lapped at by the tide. 

Immediately Hajime blanked on what the  _ fuck  _ cpr was, and decided to try the Heimlich maneuver, getting behind the limp Nagito and preforming the maneuver was the best he could do. Without realizing it he found himself crying as finally Nagito breathed life back into his lungs, sputtering out water, Hajime bent him over, removing as much contact as he could. Patting his back as Nagito leaned over on his elbows, conscious enough to keep himself upright. 

Panting, realizing Nagito was fine, hajime laid on his back, feeling the rapid pace of his heart attempt to slow. He wiped his tears, and folded his arms over his chest instinctively. “Jesus Christ Nagito,” Hajime halfheartedly laughed, looking over at the panting Nagito, who couldn’t speak and instead just shook his head while he breathed in sharp desperate breaths. Those too, eventually stalled to regular breathing. Nagito turned over, elbows sore from the friction against holding his weight, and the sand, and laid on his back. 

The pair breathlessly laid down, silence calming, holding them present and alive like a rock. After what felt like 5 years, clearing his throat with a cough Nagito was the first to speak. “That’s why I don’t have any friends Hajime.” His tone serious, not daring to remove his eyes from the sky above them. “Bad things happen, my luck is a burden, even so I’m to blame, it’s dangerous to be around me.” He said, and Hajime couldn’t even tell if he was sniffling from breathing or crying. “I’m so sorry Hajime, truly I’m so sorry.” 

Hajime sat up, eyes full of concern, looking at the teen beneath him, only a few feet away. “You’re not a burden Nagito. I’m so glad you’re okay.” He said gently facepalming, rubbing his temples. “You got banged up pretty badly, we should go take care of that before they get infected.” Hajime said gesturing to the large gash wound on the back of his leg, and another on his left arm. 

“Ah, those.” He said awkwardly, not even having noticed them. Hajime stood up, trying to brush the wet sand that clung to him off, it didn’t work. Regardless he held out a hand to Nagito, who was too tired to deny the help. With a groan the two were on their feet. “Need help walking?” Hajime asked gently, almost as if he hadn’t meant to say anything. 

With a chuckle Nagito replied, “We’ll see.” He said, a halfhearted smiled painted on his face. Eyebrows grimaced in pain, face bright and content. Hajime felt his body ache as he walked, getting your back thrown into a pillar really wasn’t ideal, he didn’t  _ think  _ there were any breaks, but damn that was gonna be sore. 


	2. Chapter 2

They eventually hobbled back to the cottages, Nagito at some point stumbled, and awkwardly had to use hajime as a stilt. Regardless, they made it in one piece. 

“I have first aid in my room, it’s uhh, a little messy, but we can get you fixed up in there.” Hajime said, steel determination filled him. 

“Hajime I couldn’t impose! You’ve already had to deal with me all night,”-

“Nagito, if you’re going to feel like you’re in debt to me, then this is what I want. I want to fix you up and make sure you’re okay.” Nagito opened his mouth to speak but couldn’t find a rebuttal within himself. 

“Alright.” And with that they walked down to Hajime’s cottage. Adrenaline and sleep continued to fight,  _ ‘I have to stay awake and strong, at least for a little while. Why am I doing this all for Nagito anyways?because I feel bad? No don’t think like that Hajime, he's your friend, you know he’d do the same for you.’  _ He thought to himself, opening the door. 

He turned on the light, the sudden bright light caused him to wince, but he ignored it and pushed on. He helped Nagito into a chair, and pulled a first aid kit out of his bathroom. He grabbed two towels at the same time, “here, dry yourself off while I bandage your leg.” He said, handing Nagito the towel. Wordlessly he accepted it, this look of anxiety had filled his face, and he had no words for once. 

He gently tried to roll up his pant leg, avoiding the injury as gingerly as possible, just hardly avoiding grazing the back of his calf. He quickly ran to the bathroom, grabbed a clean hand towel to tap off the water so he could disinfect and bandage it. Sitting back down on the floor he continued his work. Hyper focused on being as gentle as possible. He grabbed a liquid disinfectant, “hey this might sting a little, is that okay?” He asked, feeling suddenly guilty, having taken over the situation. 

“Yeah, I’m so sorry Hajime.” He said, biting back the tears in his eyes. 

“For what?” He asked, focused on disinfecting, not even looking up at Nagito’s face, 

“Having to drag my ass out of the water, for one, and for two, having to take care of me. I’m so sorry I’m such a burden.” Nagito said, hands shaking as he spoke. Hajime paused and looked up at Nagito.

“If I didn’t want to help I wouldn’t be. I wouldn’t lie to you Nagito.” He said, a strange blunt comfort was the only one he knew how to provide. 

“T-thank you Hajime.” Was all he mustered to get out as he dried his hair out. Hajime finished cleaning it out, doing his best to get sand and other things like hair or anything out of the gash. It wasn’t so deep that it needed stitches, but it definitely needed to be bandaged. Grabbing the wrap he began gently pulling it over his leg, apologizing as he applied pressure to keep it in place. 

“No problem hajime, this is like a 5/10, I’ll be okay, I’ve felt worse.” He said a weak chuckle to his voice. 

“Sorry.” Hajime said quietly, eyebrows tightened into a concerned expression. Now it was Nagito’s turn to ask,

“For what?”

“That you’ve been through worse.” He said softly, cutting off the last needed bit of bandage, attaching it with medical tape. 

“It is what it is Hajime.” He laughed a little, with lungs still sore it was a little pitiful, but the mood felt lightened. His white hair was fluffed back out, and no longer dripping wet, hajime on the other hand, he was still soaked, “hajime you should really get changed, or dry off or something. It’s not good to stay in wet clothes.” Hajime hummed in agreement, checking the wound over, just to make sure he did alright and stood up. 

“Alrighty, wanna just throw on something of mine for the time being?” Hajime asked, not noticing the way Nagito went stiff. Hajime stood up, not quite straight, as his back was literally killing him, but up he was. He walked away, quickly looking for something. “Aha!” He said suddenly with newfound excitement. “I found my sewing kit, I can maybe help patch your jacket back up.” Nagito looked at the dark green fabric solemnly, and with a small smile, he looked over at hajime and nodded. 

As hajime ran around the room, gathering different clothes, putting different things together, while also looking through the sewing kit, Nagito knew it was rude to stare but.. damn hajime had some serious man boobs.  _ ‘Nagito Komeada, shut the fuck up. He was generous enough to invite you into his home after saving your sorry ass, the last thing you deserve to be thinking about are if hajime has boobs or not! But the entire island talks about it! He has serious pecs! Shut the fuck up oh my god.’ _

Hajime on the other hand had gotten together a decent enough outfit for Nagito, an outfit for himself, which in between the layers hid a binder because fuck it, and green sewing thread and a few needles. “Okay! So. If you don’t mind I’ll be right back, the feeling of salt on my skin seriously freaks me out,” he cleared his throat, hoping the lie passed. “I’m gonna rinse off, feel free to get comfortable, just knock if you need anything.” 

“Sure thing, I’ll be here,” Nagito said, willing his anxiety to settle the fuck down. 

_ ‘Oh my god oh my god oh my god. Hajime is showering? A wall away from me? What. How? Why? God I hope this lucky streak doesn’t break. I don’t want him to hate me. God I’m so pathetic I got stuck underwater, almost drowned, had to be saved, and is being nursed back to health? Oh god I’m so lucky. I feel absolutely terrible, I don’t deserve to have a friend like this. I’m utter garbage but. God. I want to be happy, I want to be happy so badly. Is this what hope is? Haha. This is euphoric.’ _

His never ending thoughts seemed to slow for a moment as he took a deep, steadying breath, as he let it out he felt panic spike in his gut.

_ ‘Oh god what if he finds out I’m trans. Oh fuck. Well, good thing I left my room unlocked. if I don’t run into anyone.. I should be okay. Okay Nagito, don’t fuck this up anymore than you already have and we’re good. Wait if he dragged me all the way here. Oh my god what if he already knows?? Fuuuuuuuuck. Well, maybe that was my luck cycle, it wouldn’t surprise me after that if he  _ **_just_ ** _ missed them. God I hope so. He would only find me more repulsive. God I need to hurry up. I can’t just sit here until time runs out.’  _

Nagito snapped himself out of an entrapping internal monologue and headed over to his room, making sure the door was unlocked, he gently shut it, careful not to make any sound, though over the loud shower, he probably couldn’t have heard it anyways. 

_ ‘Just quietly head over to your room, don’t talk to anyone, don’t even think about it.’  _ With heart racing anxiety Nagito made it to his room, and opened the door.  _ ‘Wow this place is a mess, for being so good at cleaning I need to do it more often.’  _ He inwardly sighed, and got some things together. His binder because yes he is stupid like that, a new pair of boxers, bevause as lovely as Hajime was, he definitely blanked it, and while changing he grabbed some medical wrap from his own dwindling first aid kit, and re-wrapped the soggy bandages from yesterday. 

Of course the cuts hadn’t happened yesterday, he was just lazy. Nagito would be damned if he let Hajime find out he was harming himself. So he just patched it back up, over his forearms, his thighs, and wrists, and quickly headed back out. Making sure to not lock his door, he silently found himself already back at Hajime’s. 

The shower was still running by the time he had gotten there, for that Nagito was lucky. He quickly got changed into what hajime had picked out for him. It was surprisingly considerate, knowing how he usually dressed the baggy dark green t-shirt wasn’t so bad, plus the shorts were soft and black, so maybe it wasn’t the best fashion statement, but he was really just getting ready for bed. Speaking of, why was Hajime insisting on taking care of Nagito? It confused the pale teen to no end, unsure why anyone should or would care for pathetic garbage like himself. 

No time to think about it, the shower had finished up, and Nagito gently folded his clothes, setting them on the table next to the chair, thankfully none of his blood got on anything, minus hajime’s hands. The thought made him violently ill. Why did Hajime care about him. He could’ve left him with instructions and sent him on his merry way. 

When hajime stepped out of the bathroom he looked refreshed, a loose hanging cream colored shirt, with a green jacket he was still pulling on, along with almost too big fuzzy pajama pants. Nagito smiled, he felt his heart warm. Of course trash like him didn’t even deserve to be breathing the same air as someone as lovely as hajime. But it didn’t change the fact he was reveling in it. 

“Hey Nagito,”


	3. Chapter 3

Hajime stepped into the bathroom, he felt gross, genuinely disgusting. He did dislike the feeling of salt on his skin, but it paled in comparison to the earth shattering dysphoria of being alive. Goddamn why didn’t he just wear a binder earlier. Why was he caring so much about Nagito? Maybe it’s the fact that he  _ was  _ Hanako. Used to be anyways.  _ ‘Well, at least I know my deadname now.’  _ The earth shattering reminder of the person he used to be, and he had known Nagito in his youth, after having it be mentioned, it immediately clicked into place, although falling into the ocean swiftly redirected his attention. 

Hajime let out a small sigh, pulled the curtain over the windowed bathroom. That made absolutely no sense why the bathroom was see though, but the curtain that could be easily drawn over it made up for the fact. He discarded his clothes and jumped Into the shower. 

Stepping back while the water heated up was irritating, it just allowed for him to reflect a little bit more. How had the night gotten so crazy? He left his room because his idiot thought process was making it hard to sleep, all Hajime was going to do was take a walk, but lo and behold, Nagito was there. 

Hajime hadn’t minded Nagito, even before tonight. He was the one person who stuck around while Hajime had a panic attack on the beach. Everyone else left him, except for that one green eyed boy. Nagito. He really wasn’t all that bad, he was sweet and his sense of humor matched Hajime’s, so he was glad they got along so smoothly. Of course his talks of hope and ideals scared most away, calling him crazy and weird behind his back. 

Hajime frowned at the thought. If only they could see past the ‘crazy’ exterior. Of course he was a little strange, everyone here was. Hajime couldn’t remember his ultimate talent, he hardly remembered his parents, he had even forgotten what his legal name was. God that was embarrassing. Stepping into the warm water he gently lathered shampoo into his hands and massaged his scalp. 

Why didn’t the others even give Nagito a chance? He was a good person inside, and even if for strange reasoning he would lay down his life for just about anyone here. Maybe that’s why Hajime saved his life, or at the very least was so determined to save him. Well, he’d do that for anyone, not just Nagito, but something about the white haired boy burned a fire deep within his brain. 

Shaking his thoughts out he rinsed his hair, watching it all disappear down the drain between blinking water out of his eyelashes. He grabbed the conditioner, smoothing it out over his head. His hair was pretty short, but he still tried to take good care of it, even if he didn’t shower nearly as often as he should. He looked down at the sand going down the drain, the texture odd underneath his feet, he was immediately reminded why he did not like to shower. 

He bit his lip and reminded himself to finish up. Rinsing his hair out, he grabbed a loofah, applied some strong ‘manly’ smelling body wash and quickly lathered himself up, mostly just to smell nice, but also to get all the damn sand off of him! God he hated the beach. 

After rinsing off and basking in the hot water for a few moments more, hajime turned off the shower and stepped out. Drying off he felt his feet hit impossibly more sand than he thought he dragged in,  _ ‘I’ll have to go get a broom or something from stockpunch because this really sucks.’  _ He groaned inwardly, brushing off the sand on a mat on the floor. He dried off, pulled on his binder, which he only zipped up about halfway, just to be safe, he put on the rest of his clothes, rubbing his legs together on the fuzzy material of the pj pants. Sure maybe it was a little childish but he felt warm and cozy, and ready to take on the world!

Okay maybe not take on the world, but definitely more comfortable.

The binder squeezed against the bruised parts of his back, he winced more than once just trying to bend over to pick up his towel,  _ ‘well, this fucking sucks.’  _ He rolled his eyes, picked up his dirty clothes, banished them to the hamper in the bathroom, and drew the curtain. 

“Hey Nagito.”

The slightly shorter boy smiled, “how are you feeling?” He asked casually, finding his thread and needle again as he talked. 

“Uh, better, I think.” He said sheepishly, rubbing his hand on the back of his neck. He looked a little naked without his jacket, Hajime noticed he had bandaged his arm up, and what he assumed were related injuries on his arms. “Damn, I’m sorry you got so scraped up.” He said looking away awkwardly.

Nagito tried to laugh it off, “it’s alright Hajime, thank you again, you didn’t have to save me like that.” He said, hajime immediately stiffened.

“Of course I had to Nagito, I couldn’t just let you die like that.” He said, suddenly tearing up. 

“Of course you could’ve, trash like me? The world wouldn’t miss me.”

“Maybe not the world but I would. I. You can’t just die like that, I care about you, of course I haven’t known you for long but you can’t imagine how upset I would’ve been if you had just. Died. Just like that when I was just getting to know you.” Hajime said suddenly aware he was raising his voice, he took a deep breath and continued. Hajime’s eyes began to water, not because he was really upset, just the frustration of the situation.

You have a friend, and he’s really cool, but he doesn’t see it. He’s always putting himself down, and it irritates you because you care for him when damn near nobody else will. That was Hajime’s reality.

“I dunno Nagito, you shouldn’t talk about yourself like that, you’re worth more than that.” He said, shrugging, Nagito guiltily looked away, unsure of what to say. 

“Thank you Hajime.” He said, meeting the standing boy’s eyes, “I’m sorry I made you cry.” He said, looking away again. 

“Ah,” he wiped his tears with the back of his sleeve, “I didn’t even notice, sorry I’m just. Really tired.” He said frustrated at himself. Boys didn’t really cry that often, even if it was okay to, just another reason Hajime wouldn’t ever be a ‘true’ boy, snapped out of his thoughts he sat at the chair across from Nagito. “Want me to sew up your jacket?” He asked softly, as if compensating for being loud earlier. Of course he wasn’t shouting at Nagito, but he had no reason to raise his voice above speaking level. 

“If it will make you happy Hajime.” He said softly, staring at the wall in front of him.  _ ‘Should I invite him to stay the night? That’s the polite thing to do, right? But what if he takes it the wrong way, what if I’m being too forceful? What if he doesn’t even like me? Like at all? What if Nagito hates me and is only being polite because I saved his life, oh god I wouldn’t want him to stay just because he- okay shut the fuck up hajime you’re freaking yourself out for no good reason.’  _ He shut his thoughts up, and decided to be blunt. 

“Feel free to spend the night if you want, I can’t really carry you to your room, and it’d be bad if your leg reopened or something.” Nagito looked like he seriously considered the offer for a moment.

“Well, I wouldn’t want to impose, it’s not that I mind! I could sleep on the couch but, I don’t understand why you’d even want me in your space anymore. I feel bad for intruding so much.” He finished it off with an awkward laugh, scratching the back of his neck. 

Hajime shrugged, “the bed is full sized, big enough for two people, right? I mean I’m not going to make you stay. It's just not smart to be moving around so much, if it reopened and got infected, you’d probably have to have mikan nurse you back to health.” He finished, starting his work on sewing the jacket back together. 

Nagito dreaded the thought, “I couldn’t possibly bother the ultimate nurse, I mean, there’s no way I’d make such a wonderful person deal with me, of all people!” Nagito said, his expression was borderline scary, something Hajime didn’t see, too focused on his work.

Sweat pricked at the ends of his fingers, making it difficult to grasp the tiny metal object. He processed what Nagito said, and eventually replied. “Well, we can get Akane or someone to take you over to your room in the morning if it doesn’t look any better.” He said, words drawing out slowly, more of his attention was drawn onto the jacket, almost like he had tunnel vision. 

He almost didn't hear Nagito hum an agreement. “Thank you hajime, truly, I am.. deeply in love with the hope that sleeps within you.” He said softly, eyes far away. Hajime chuckled, finding the statement odd, but didn’t comment. 

“Alright.” He yawned lightly, “I’m ready for bed, how about you?” Hajime asked sleepily, his brain finally having caught up to his body. 

Nagito blinked, as if he had been shocked with static, “sure I guess. Is it okay if I take the outside? Leg and all.” He tacked on at the end.

“Sure, no problem,” hajime helped him walk over, finding himself irritated at the placement of the wound, right behind the knee, right where it’s constantly bending and shifting and ripping open, the new cells desperately trying to cling together. He sat Nagito down, turned off the light, and awkwardly maneuvered around him to the inside. 

He yawned once more, “you sure you’re okay? Not in too much pain or anything?” 

“No not really, you did a good job hajime. If I had to rate it, it’d call it a five, or maybe a six.”

“Six? Really?”

“Considering I’ve felt a ten this isn’t that bad.”

“I heard somewhere that cracking your femur is a ten, is that true?”

“Hmm, maybe. I’ve been in and out of the hospital a lot, never broken my femur though,” Nagito pondered before continuing. “Have you?”

“Maybe, but I don’t think so.” Hajime laughed lightly, “I don’t even remember what I’m good at, but maybe I’ll remember more about myself soon.” He said, thoughts suddenly wistful. 

Nagito replied with a quiet hum, and Hajime found himself drifting into sleep. Almost like a light switch, Hajime was out like a light.

Nagito on the other hand, was laying almost perfectly still, stiff as a log, in so much pain.   
  


Lying about it seemed to relax Hajime, but oh boy it seemed like his entire leg was on fire. Of course it wasn’t what hajime did, he had patched it up and cleaned it pretty damn well, but walking back to his room had completely fucked that up. It was like fire was spreading on the back of his calf. He mentally cursed at himself, but eventually found himself succumbing to the gentle waves of slumber. 


	4. Chapter 4

Hajime found himself waking up to the morning announcement from usami. For as much as he gave usami slack, she wasn’t terrible. Annoying at worst. She was kinda cute, not that he’d willingly spend time with her, he just didn’t understand why everyone genuinely hated her. He shrugged it off, feeling himself come back to his body. He realized that Nagito was laying on his stomach, right hand over Hajime’s stomach, still asleep through the announcement. 

_‘Man I’d really like for him to sleep in but… I should probably wake him up so we can go to the morning meeting. Plus mikan should probably look at his cuts, just to be safe.’_

Hajime knew deep down somewhere that Nagito would feel like utter garbage if he woke someone up to take care of him, so hajime stepped up, and did what he had to do last night. Hajime sighed, looking at the sleeping boy, ‘ _just a few more minutes while I get dressed.’_ He decided, delicately moving around him, luckily getting off the bed and standing on the ground. 

As he stood up he realized just at that moment how truly bruised and fucked up his back was. He drew in an involuntary sharp inhale, which seemed to irritate it farther. ‘ _Damnit! I need to take care of this before it becomes a problem, the binder isn’t helping anything.’_ He grumbled inwardly, while proceeding to zip it up.   
  


he paused for a moment, winded. Damn that hurt. He tried to stand impossibly straighter, but damn it hurt. Hajime found himself taking small, shallow breaths. _‘Come on Hajime, you’ve worn it longer than that before. Like what, 3am until 8am? That’s nothing. But getting my spine nearly crushed against a wooden pillar, doesn’t help! At all! Damnit that hurts!’_ He let out a small sigh.

Standing there for a moment, he felt very hot, cold but sweaty, ‘ _gross hajime.’_ He rolled his eyes at himself, god he felt like shit. Knees weak, hands shakey, breathing more labored than it should be. _‘Probably just my body trying to fix the swelling and inflammation, it’s gotta run it’s course, I fucked the shit outta my back, it makes sense I guess.’_

He grumbled again as he walked around, finding a solid white button up, an army green solid long sleeve undershirt, a black tie, black pants, his shoes, and he was ready for the day. He stretched out, feeling his back ache and yell at him in pain, _‘yeah yeah just stop it okay? I’ll find some sort of cream or jell or something at the pharmacy, I’ll go once Nagito wakes up.’_ He reasoned with his non sentient back. 

He went to the bathroom, brushed his teeth, his hair, made sure he looked alright, all before going to wake up the sleeping Nagito. _‘I feel really bad for waking him up but… I probably should, right?’_ He said, standing over Nagito, _‘well morally it’s weird to watch people sleep hajime, so just wake him up already.’_ He said to himself.

He cautiously placed a hand on Nagito’s left shoulder, which was closer to Hajime, and gently began to rub it with his thumb, soothing, like his mom used to when he was younger. ‘ _Nice! Memory came back. At least a little. Fuck hajime this is weird say something!’_ “h-hey Nagito, you gotta wake up, the others are waiting on us.” He said, starting out quiet as not to startle him, but gradually raised it to a speaking voice by the end. 

“Hm?” He asked, voice cracking in the middle, ‘ _he sounds so soft when he’s sleepy. What the fuck hajime.’_ He mentally slapped himself. “It’s time to get up Nagito, the others are waiting.” Nagito made a small, quiet noise, and after a few moments, was back asleep. Hajime rolled his eyes, Nagito was far enough in the bed were Hajime could sit at the end, this was gonna take a minute.

He gently moved his right hand to nagio’s back, gingerly rubbing the area around his shoulders, not the point to cause friction and irritation, but hard enough to cause him to feel it. “C’mon Nagito, we gotta go.” 

“Hnng. H- Hajime?” He asked sleepily, eyes still shut, eyebrows twitching slightly. 

“Yeah,” he stopped rubbing, but kept his hand on his back, “time to wake up, can you sit up?” Nagito didn’t respond, only taking a deep breath, and sighing unintentionally. “Ugh, Nagito,” he drew out the ‘o’, sounding like a pouty child. Nagito hummed what sounded like the start of a sentence, but was cut off, falling back asleep. Hajime didn't want to invade his space, it was weird enough as is, but he needed this damn boy to wake up!

He gently placed his hand on Nagito’s head, playing with his hair, it was surprisingly soft for how matted it looked, but it really wasn’t even matted, he began to braid little strands, it was a nervous habit he had when his hair was still long. When he was younger he kept it at a shoulder length until about 8th grade, when he finally chopped it all off. So his fingers moved swiftly, the muscle memory kicking in. 

Well, Nagito didn’t wake up, but his hair was in a bunch of braids, hajime groaned, what was it gonna take for him to wake up? He began untying the braids, hoping the sensation on his scalp would wake him up. 

No luck. But at least Nagito’s hair was all fun and wavy. _‘Off track! Back to the task idiot.’_ He sighed, feeling dizzy and tired, all he wanted to do was crawl back into bed, but time was ticking, the others were all probably meeting up by now, and wondering where the pair were. He sighed loudly, “Nagito it’s time to get up.” He said moving his hand to the middle of Nagito’s back, were he expected to only find a shirt and skin, but alas.

‘ _H-he’s trans too?? H-how did I not notice?.’_ He removed his hand, secondhand embarrassment killing him inside. _‘Idiot sleeping in his binder. I guess I have no room to talk though. I won’t bring it up, I’ll let him come to me about it on his own terms.’_ Hajime decided, feeling better. _‘Damnit he’s still not even awake though!’_ He placed his hand on Nagito’s shoulder. “Hey it’s time to wake up sleepy-head.” He said, voice firmer. 

Nagito huffed a little more, and rolled over onto his back. Hajime saw the way his eyebrows stayed in firm distressed lines. Without thinking about it, he placed the inside of his wrist to Nagito’s forehead. Fevered. Damnit. He sighed, knowing that if Nagito was sick, hajime probably was too. “Well, this sucks.” He said aloud, sighing. _‘He probably won’t wake up, right? But just in case.._ ’ hajime began writing a note, it simply said:

“Hey I’ll be out for a bit, I think you have a fever, I’m gonna go find mikan, probably some meds, please stay in bed, I’ll be back soon.” -hajime hinata

And with that, he placed it on the nightstand, and walked out of the room. _‘Too bad there aren’t like- any surgical masks or something, I’d feel bad if I got anyone sick if I have whatever Nagito has.’_ He sighed mentally, and began to walk to the lobby. His feet felt like they were made of lead. 

He walked into the hotel, a small wave to Sonia, chiaki, and headed up the stairs. Upon reaching upstairs, the shy nurse he was looking for, was nowhere to be seen.

For the most part it was calm. Nekomaru and teruteru where in the kitchen talking, byakuya was off at his own table, Ibuki and Akane sat together. Peko, Fyuyhiko, and Mahiru all sat together. Everyone else was sitting together all clumped up.

“Hey all, anyone seen mikan?” 

“I do believe I saw her in her cabin earlier, perhaps check there?” Peko said, looking up from her plate. 

“Thanks,” hajime said, turning to leave, when he was stopped by a hyperactive ibuki.

“Ibuki wants to know why hajime needs Mikan! Does he have a cruuuush on her?” She snickered to Hajime’s horror. 

“N-no nothing like that! I think Nagito has come down with something, I was gonna ask her to check in on him.” He said, voice wavering, trying to defend him. He sighed, “just to sit back down Ibuki.”

Ibuki did a little salute, “sure thing hajime.” He visibly relaxed when she walked away. Hajime huffed a little and headed downstairs. A wave goodbye to Sonia and chiak, and walking quickly on the concrete of the pool. To think that all that happened just last night. He shuddered at the thought, and shooed it away. 

Hajime found his way to Mikan’s cottage, and knocked as politely as he could, not wanting to startle her. She responded much quicker than hajime was expecting. “Hey mikan, sorry to bug you but do you think you could help me out real fast?”

“W-w-with what Ha-hajime?” She asked, more flighty than usual.

“You okay?”

“I wil-will be. What did you need?”

“Oh uh, it’s a long story but I think Nagito is coming down with something, I have a hypothesis for what it is but.. not entirely sure, if you wouldn’t mind looking at him?” Mikan’s eyes seemed like they sparkled for a moment.

“Sure hajime! L-lemme find my gloves, a-a-and a mask.” He nodded as she went back in to find her things. He stared at his feet, startled out of the small trance he had been in when she shut the door. “Alright. Where is he?” She asked quietly. 

“My cottage.” She looked at him, confusion plastered on her face. “Like I said- long story.” She hummed in response and walked into the cottage. Nagito was still asleep on his back, almost exactly as still as he had been a few minutes prior. Scarily still. Was his chest moving? Hajime felt himself begin to panic when he noticed the faint rise and fall of his friend’s chest. 

“So w-what’s the problem hajime?” She whispered, trying not to wake him. 

“Well, he won’t wake up for one, and two he’s burning hot, he got pretty scraped up yesterday, I thought he would be okay but I’m worried it got infected or something.” He said, fidgeting with his tie. She nodded, and went to feel Nagito’s forhead. 

“Definitely hot. Lemme-“ without warning she went and felt Hajime’s forhead, “f-for seeming so well, you’re hotter than Nagito is!” She said, eyes widening. 

“H-huh?” He blinked at her, “how? I feel perfectly fi- well I really don’t but I don’t feel that crummy.” Mikan hummed, thinking for a moment.

“We should probably get you over to the hospital, I have my equipment there. It’s probably n-nothing serious, but I’d like to use a thermometer and have medication to give you.” She said, sighing. Hajime liked this version of mikan best, when she was in her element, giving directions and medical help. 

“S-sure. I think I’m okay to walk, but what about Nagito?” He asked, still fidgeting with his tie. Mikan looked over to the sleeping boy, and put her hand on his shoulder, and tapped him quickly, “Nagito. Hey, Nagito, it’s time to get up.” The white haired boy groaned. 

“Wha-“ he groaned, sitting up, eyes still mostly shut. He yawned, “what’s going on?” He asked sleepily. Mikan looked over at hajime, victory clear in her eyes, hajime just smiled. 

“Hey so we came down with something, Mikan is gonna take us to the hospital and see what’s up.” He said before Mikan needed to.

Nagito’s eyes widened, “we’re sick? H-how do you know that?” 

“Because we have fevers, you refused to wake up, I feel like shit, close proximity, we probably gave it to one another.” He said, voice unintentionally analytical. Mikan nodded, “are you okay to walk?” He asked, shoving his hands in his pockets, bored of messing with his tie. 

“I think so, yeah.” He said, standing, stretching, wincing. He opened his mouth to say something but as he did so the monitor came on. It was that terrible black and white bear, who had brought out huge monstrous machines, he thought usami had defeated him. 

“Phuhuhuhu! You thought you could get rid of lil ol me? Phuhu.. as revenge I have released the Despair disease! At least three of you have it right now! I wonder how long it’ll take before you all have it! Phuhuhuhu! Good luck!” 

The monitor shut off. Hajime felt like he was spinning, ‘ _despair disease?’ “_ Wha-“ he felt. Scared? Nervous? Ready? Bored? He didn’t know and he felt over the situation before it even began. 

“Despair disease?” Mikan squeaked, hands squeezing themselves into balls. “W-we need to get you both to the hospital, p-please head over there while I go see who else has it!” She rushed out. 

Despair disease..? Hajime couldn’t make sense of it. All he could do was stand still, taking it in. “N-Nagito. Can you even walk?” Nagito tested his leg out, wincing as he bent it too far.

“I think I’ll be alright, it’s better than last night anyways.” He said sighing. “I wonder what this despair disease is..” he wondered. Hajime felt his thoughts scramble.

Part of him was so anxious, he probably had it. What even was this disease? And another part of him stared the anxious half in the eyes and shot it. It was already bored of the hospital, they hadn’t even left the room. 


	5. Chapter 5

Nagito had tested out his leg, applying pressure, eventually he deemed it safe  _ enough  _ to walk on. Partially he just made himself walk for Hajime’s sake. His eyes looked cloudy and distant, like he was far away lost in thought. 

He looked at the slightly shorter boy, he had put his hands in his pockets, and seemed like he was puzzling something together. “Everything alright hajime?” He asked quieter than he meant to come off. 

“Hm? Oh, yes everything is fine, just lost in thought.” Nagito wasn't too sure about that, but decided to drop the subject. He double checked he was alright to walk to the hospital, and started towards the door.

“Are you ready to go?” He asked, hand on the knob. Hajime nodded, seeming to snap out of whatever zoned out state he was in. The walk to the hospital was mostly uneventful, Nagito felt his leg try to seize up, but he refused to let it. Hajime was quiet, looking at the ground, lost in thought. 

“What do you think this ‘despair disease’ is Nagito?” Hajime asked suddenly. It caught Nagito off guard, stuttering to an answer. 

“I’m not sure why you’re asking me of all people hajime.” He chuckled lightheartedly, “to be honest I’m not sure, that bear seemed absolutely crazy. I thought usami defeated him, but I guess not.” He sighed, folding his arms and looking away dejectedly. 

“I’m unsure if that’s the problem, I have a feeling monokuma would be bothering us regardless. Even if we were still at school.” Hajime said, hand resting on his chin. Nagito blinked at him, aware of the personality change. 

He wanted to say something about the monotone way he was speaking, but something inside Nagito made him drop it, deep within himself it felt familiar somehow. He shrugged it off mentally, “what do you mean by that?” He said, genuinely curious. 

Hajime shrugged, hand dropping back to his side. “Just a hunch.” 

The rest of the walk was silent, until the sight of the hospital was in view. It was a little strange how each of the islands was so dramatically different, but Nagito knew better than to question things here. He looked at the hospital and noticed Hajime grimace, whether or not he knew it, he looked uncomfortable and upset. 

“You alright Hajime?” The brunette looked at him, blinking for a moment before answering. 

“Uh, I think so, just sorta spaced out, I’m not really sure how we got here.” He paused, thinking for a moment “I mean I know we walked! That’s not what I’m saying. Uh-“ 

“I know what you mean, heheh.” He said quietly, “do you think we should just wait in the lounge?” 

“Yeah that’s probably the best idea, wait until Mikan and the other sick patients get here.” Nagito nodded in reply, and sat down at one of the seats near the window. Hajime sat down next to him, once again fidgeting with his tie. 

“I’m afraid of hospitals..” Hajime muttered quietly.

“Hmm? Sorry I didn’t catch that,”

“Earlier you asked if I was alright, I’m terrified of hospitals.” He said, staring at his shoes, Nagito was unsure what to say. 

“We could wait outside if you’d like? At least until Mikan gets here.” Hajime nodded, standing up, and walked outside, leaving Nagito stunned, he moved with such precision it was almost like he wasn’t sick at all. 

Nagito huffed, and stood up slowly, being mindful of his leg, and met hajime outside. The brunette was sitting on the ground, fidgeting with his tie, pulling it back and forth, loosening and tightening it. 

Nagito sat net to Hajime, leaning against the wall and sliding into a sit. “Do you wanna talk about it?” He asked sincerely. 

“Sorta, I just don’t know what to say. I don’t know why I’m so scared they just.. freak me out.” He said, will staring at the ground, eyes zoned onto a rock probably. 

“Maybe it has to do with your lost memories,” he said softly, more or less just lost in thought, pointer finger on his chin as he spoke. He looked over at hajime who looked like he had just had a heart attack. “You okay hajime?”

He didn’t respond, just staring out into space, Nagito found himself frowning, “you in there hajime?” He said lightheartedly. The brunette still didn’t reply, which made Nagito nervous. “Zoned out or.. something more?” He thought aloud, wondering if Hajime was alright. 

His brain automatically jumped to the worst conclusions, heat stroke, his fever becoming too hot, disassociation, Etc. “hajime please, any reaction will do.” He said nervously. Hajime twitched his hand, moving it to Nagito’s, wrapping his pinky around Nagito’s index finger. Unblinking he continued to stare off into space. 

Nagito felt his heart began to race, was it from anxiety, from having physical contact? Who knew. Regardless he was scared shitless for his friend. “Hey, squeeze my finger if you want to go back inside,” he stuttered out. “I’m worried it’s too hot out here.” He tacked on, trying not to seem like he was trying to control hajime. 

He didn’t move his pinky, which Nagito took as a sign to leave him be. He finally blinked, it was halfway and stuttered, but he blinked, which Nagito took as a small sign of victory. “We can wait as long as you need Hajime.” He said quietly, leaning back against the wall, keeping his left hand still for hajime to hold onto. 

Nagito was familiar with disassociation, it wasn’t new to him. Why his friend was disassociating was beyond him, but he wasn’t about to freak hajime out by trying to move him, or make him speak. Wait- would hajime even consider Nagito his friend? It surely would make Nagito happy, but he didn’t feel deserving of it. 

The pair sat there, watching the waves lazily roll over one another in the distant ocean. Nagito managed to shut up his intrusive thoughts, and try and be present for hajime, even if hajime didn’t want him here anymore, or thought he was the worst, Nagito would stay, at the very least until he was functional. 

***

It felt like a few hours had passed, but it was probably more like 20 minutes. Hajime and Nagito sat still outside of the hospital. That didn’t change, but what did was hajime. Nagito noticed it when his body flinched, eyebrows clutching together, eyes blinking rapidly. “You alright Hajime? Welcome back.” He said lightheartedly, chuckling. 

He nodded, hand accidentally squeezing Nagito’s. “S-sorry, I didn’t mean to disassociate like that on you. I haven’t.. I haven’t done that in awhile, sorry.”

Nagito smiled gently, “it’s alright hajime, happens to the best of us. Although we should probably get you some water, it would suck if you got dehydrated.” He said, slowly standing up, steadying himself against the hospital wall.

Hajime smiled, “you’re right.” He stood up, swiping dirt and dust off his pants. 

“There’s probably some inside, are you okay with going in again?”

“Well I’ll have to at some point, right? Better off if I do so willingly.” He sighed, walking back inside. Nagito didn’t quite understand Hajime, but at the very least he was nice to be around. 

Once they returned inside, they found a mini fridge and a microwave in the on call room upstairs. Nagito grabbed two bottles of water, and headed back to the waiting room. His leg hurt like a bitch, but he would be okay. He handed one to hajime who was sitting on the chair closest to the door. 

Nagito sat to his right, sighing unintentionally. “Are you gonna be okay hajime?” He asked genuinely, curious of his friend’s well being.

“I believe so, thanks Nagito.” He said, tone trying to decide if it was monotone or not. Something was up with hajime, and it rubbed Nagito the wrong way. 

“Of course hajime, if a worthless person like me can be any use to you, it would make me very happy.” He smiled innocently, opening his cap, and downing a quarter of the bottle of water. He screwed the cap back on immediately, partially because of a nervous habit, but knowing his luck he would end up spilling it everywhere. Nagito could almost laugh at how strange his talent was. 

He was most going off on an internal monologue, but was interrupted by hajime, who tapped him lightly on the arm. 

“There is one thing bothering me about what you said.” He said, face expressionless, tone flat.

“And what’s that hajime?” He asked curiously. 

“I am not Hajime,” he said, Nagito just looked confused. 

“Huh? What do you mean you’re not hajime?”

“I am izuru kamukura, who are you?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone! Sorry for the pause between chapters, I’d also like to add ive done quite a bit of research on DID(dissociative identity disorder) and I will be portraying it as well as I can! Please reach out to me if you have any issue with what I’ve said! :)


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey all! Sorry for the small hiatus, hopefully updates will be more regular in the future <3

Nagito looked at.. Izuru..? He opened his mouth to ask more questions when mikan suddenly entered the hospital. He looked at the group of people, blinking in surprise. 

“Ah! Sorry for bursting in b-but! Ibuki and Akane are s-sick too.” She said nervously. Nagito nodded, once again opening his mouth to speak but getting interrupted. “Ibuki has the gullible strain, akane has the cowardly strain, and hajime has the remembering strain.” She finished, hands shaking a bit.

“They aren’t really showing any symptoms b-but I think we should keep them here anyways.” She squeaked out. Nagito nodded, looking back at.. hajime? 

“Should I be kept in quarantine as well mikan?” He asked, hallway expecting to be interrupted for the umpteenth time this week. She placed a finger to her masked chin.

“I think so, yes, at the v-very least to have another pair of hands here.” She said softly, handing out two more masks, one for hajime and one for Nagito. 

Nagito chuckled, placing it on, adjusting the metal on his nose. “Well, I’m glad you think someone as disgusting as me will be of any help mikan! I may have quite a bit of medical knowledge, so I’m glad I’ll be of some use.” He said happily. 

Mikan nodded, I-I’m going to put Ibuki and akane I-in their rooms, will you and Hajime b-be alright?” Nagito digested the question for a moment, looking back at.. whoever. 

“I think so.” He decided, standing and offering his hand to an expressionless face. They walked over together into an empty room.

“I should be helping out too.” The voice beside him finally said after a moment. Nagito blinked at him. “I am the ultimate healthcare worker after all.” Nagito’s eyes lit up at this.

“Hajime! You remembered your ultimate talent! I’m so prou-!”

“I have no clue who Hajime is. I am izuru kamakura. I am not only the ultimate healthcare worker, but that’s what makes it boring.” Nagito felt emotionally whiplashed. 

“Sorry, I don’t quite understand. How can you be Izuru when you’re my friend Hajime Hinata?” Izuru shrugged, 

“That simply is the way that it is. I suspect Hajime Hinata was who I used to be.”

“Who you used to be?”

“I was signed up to become a lab rat essentially, they changed who I used to be to become this. I possess all of the talent in the world. The ultimate Hope they told me.”

Nagito’s eyes lit up at the statement, but confusion still continued to course through him. “That’s wonderful, but I still have more questions, that is if you wouldn’t mind lowly scum like me talking with you..” 

Izuru shrugged, “considering I was with you before, Hajime probably trusts you to a certain degree.” He said flatly, moving over towards the bed, picking up a hospital gown. “Nagito, I know hajime may trust you, but you and I are essentially strangers, would you mind stepping out for a moment.” He said, more or less a statement than a request.

“Ah! Yes, of course.” He said, face flushed, he walked out, shutting the door behind him.  _ ‘I have so many questions… first of all this despair disease, does that have something to do with this, or was he like this before? Secondly, if despair disease has nothing to do with this, was hajime- or I guess hajime and izuru always like this?’ _

_ ‘Are they two separate people in one body, or did hajime become izuru..? Too bad I don’t have my phone, google would be very useful, and the library is so far… I’d feel bad simply walking out on izuru like that.. oh shit I need to ask for izuru’s pronouns! It’s quite presumptuous of me to call izuru by he/him just because izuru is in Hajime’s body.’  _

His self deprecation began to spiral as he stood with his back facing the door in the hospital hallway, Izuru opened the door, Causing the white haired boy to lose his balance as he was leaning up against it. “Shit!” He said out of shock, taking a step forward, snapped out of his own little bubble. 

“My apologies, I didn’t mean to startle you.” Izuru said, hand still on the doorknob, expression blank save for a small twitch in the eyebrow. Nagito looked over Izuru’s face, looking for any other sign of emotion but found none.

“Ah, no it really should be me who’s apologizing…” he said, and as he did so izuru let go of the door and walked inside. Nagito followed, shutting the door gently behind him. He sat in one of the nearby chairs, the room had become much tidier in the few minutes outside, “you did an absolutely wonderful job Izuru.” He said, words slipping out of his mouth as he looked around. 

“Of course I did, it’s only natural.” Izuru said coldly.

“Ah- Izuru, before I forget, what should I refer to you as?”

“Pardon?”

“Your pronouns?”

This seemed to trouble Izuru, blinking rapidly, scrambling for an answer. 

“My apologies, I’ve never been asked.”

“You’ve never been asked?”

“No, to put it simply I was a scientific experiment, I was simply made, treated with little to no humanity.” 

“I- I’m so sorry.”

Izuru shrugged, “I’ve never known anything else. But I suppose for the original question, he/him or they/them would be fine.”

Nagito nodded, “sorry I still have more questions if you’re willing to talk to scum like me.” He chuckled a bit, as if trying to take away from the dark thoughts he had. 

“You need to stop degrading yourself. And I’m more than happy to, but I still don’t know your name.” Nagito realized he hadn’t properly introduced himself. 

“Ah- sorry. I’ll try to be better about it in the future, and my name is Nagito Komeda,”

“Pleased to make your acquaintance Nagito.” Izuru’s expression softened a bit. Nagito’s gaze wandered from around the room and finally back to izuru, Nagito felt awkward, he didn’t know quite how to approach this situation.

“Well, mikan should be in here soon, she can help take care of you.”

“As I said, I should be helping, not stuck here.”

“But you’re sick, doesn’t that mean you should rest?”

“Yes, but I’m positive I will be fine.”

Nagito sighed, this conversation wasn’t going to go anywhere, so he needed to switch it up. “Sorry, but back to topic, you said you’re izuru, but what happened to hajime?”

“You keep saying hajime, who is he?”

“Well, he’s my friend, and you’re in his body,”

“Then I can assume that he is who I was before undergoing the project.”

“The project?” Nagito inquired.

“The kamakura project, how I was created. They performed surgeries on me and experiments to make me the very best.” Izuru said, tone flat. 

“That doesn’t sound very humane.” He said, rubbing the back of his neck. 

“It wasn’t.” They said coldly, eyes darting around the room. “My current hypothesis is that my memory was somehow removed, and we have a split personality situation of some kind. Has this body undergone any sort of external stress recently?”

“Yes, we fell off the pier yesterday, and hajime had to swim us back to the shore.” He said awkwardly, hating the fact he had been so weak. 

“And I’m assuming this illness isn’t natural?”

“Yes, it’s called the despair disease of I remember it right…” he trailed off lost in thought. “Monokuma said you had the remembering disease, maybe… hajime somehow forgot about you? Or maybe it was you all along…” he felt like he was spinning. “Sorry, I’m just a little confused I guess.” Izuru nodded.

“I am a bit confused as well, I do not quite understand were I am, or what I am doing here. Last I was in hopes peak, we had just gotten through the final round of phase one.” Izuru said, looking at their hands. 

“Well, neither do we.” He chuckled lightheartedly, “we’re here with our class, and where somehow brought to jabberwock island, we have had years worth of our memories removed according to monokuma, but I’m not sure how trustworthy he his, considering he continues trying to get us all to kill one another,” Nagito admitted, looking at the window, lost in thought.

Izuru hummed as a sign of acknowledgment, the gears turning in his brain, speculating, plotting, detecting. “You said this ‘despair disease’ has made me, or more or less hajime remember, correct?”

“Yes, what are you getting at?”

“Well, I believe that hajime has simply remembered that I exist, and we will be sharing a consciousness. Similar to a dissociative identity disorder, are you familiar?”

Nagito hummed in thought, “Well I’ve heard of them I wouldn’t say I’m well educated but I’m aware of what it is.” 

“That will have to do. Make sure you explain everything to hajime if he comes back around, I would hate to have him be in the dark.” 

Nagito nodded, “is this body any different from how yours normally is?”

“Well, for one it’s missing all of the surgery scars,” he said, rubbing a spot on his forhead, eyebrows crinkled in concentration before lowering his hand. “two, my hair isn’t as long as it usually is, and finally my.. sex is different.”

Nagito had to take a double take for that last one. “Sorry- what?”

“Well, after I was… made, for lack of a better term, I had undergone a mastectomy and a phalloplasty. Numerous other procedures had happened, so they weren’t exactly my biggest priority, but this body… isn’t the one I’m used to.” Izuru finished, face flushed, it was the most amount of expression Nagito had seen. To be fair it wasn’t a lot but.. it was something.

“So you’re saying that this body is naturally female? Sorry I shouldn’t be asking such questions, if it makes you feel better feel free to kill me!”

Izuru shook his head, “it simply is what it is. Although I believe it has already began to undergo hrt, are you familiar with the definition?”

Nagito nodded, waiting for Izuru to continue. “So yes, to summarize, my body is different.” He felt his brain itch, 

“it feels like… something is just about to click into place I just.. can’t remember.” He sighed discontentedly. 

Izuru nodded, “I have a few theories, but no conclusive evidence. I will need to explore outside of this hospital when I am stable. I can only hope I do not go away once I am over this illness. Just in case, Nagito, could I request that you go find me a notebook or journal of some sort? Just to jog down things.” He said, face resigned to its normal state of blank. 

Nagito nodded, “I’d be more than happy to, I’ll head out after mikan checks in with you.” He said, smiling gently, “anything to be useful,” he said, the last part coming out audibly accidentally, but he played it off well. 

Izuru nodded, a small hum of acknowledgement. They sat on the edge of the bed, legs crossed, hands folded, eyes scanning, face expressionless, but obviously digesting the situation. 

“Izuru, if you don’t mind worthless scum like me asking, what’s your ultimate talent?” He asked innocently, a finger placed on his chin absentmindedly. “I thought I heard you say something about it earlier, but it seems to have slipped my mind.” He chuckled halfheartedly. 

“I am Izuru Kamakura, the Ultimate hope. I was created by Hope’s Peak, I have the possession of all talents in the world.” They said, tone less boastful than Nagito would’ve thought.

“That’s so impressive Izuru!”

“Not necessarily, it makes my life quite boring. I did not work for these talents, but I have them nonetheless.” 

“But still! All of the talents in the world… the ultimate hope…” he said, eyes distant, far away, thinking of the possibilities. 

“That is why I feel like I need to be helping out the other patients, you mentioned there were more like me, correct?” 

Nagito nodded, “yes, but you’re still sick, even if you are the Ultimate Hope, your body can’t keep up. You need to rest.” He said, tone somber, and a small sigh escaping his lips. 

“No matter, when I have overcome this I will find a way to be useful. I was made to work, it feels… Wrong to be resting.” They admitted, eyes darting across the room.

Nagito hummed in thought, “when I get the journal for you, would you like me to pick up anything else for you to keep you busy?”

Izuru shrugged, “it will simply be boring, there’s no challenge.”

“Then…” he paused thinking, “why not draw? There’s infinite possibilities and you can take as long as you’d like!”

Izuru let out a small sigh, “I suppose. If you wouldn’t mind picking me up a sketchbook and whatever coloring utensils are available, I would appreciate it.” Their expression softened a bit, a hint of a smile had appeared on their face.

Nagito beamed, “anything for you Izuru!” He said, hands folded neatly in his lap, sudden excitement filling him. “I may be disgusting worthless trash, but I’d be more than happy to keep you company while you’re sick, if you don’t mind that is!” 

Izuru nodded, “you aren’t boring, that’s for certain. But you could do without all the self deprecation,” he said bluntly.

Nagito opened his mouth to refute but the door was opened by mikan, wearing a medical mask, gloves, and scrubs. 

“Oh, hello mikan!” Nagito greeted, attention suddenly elsewhere. 

“H-hello Nagito, Hajime” she gestured to the two, Nagito didn’t miss the way Izuru’s brow twitched a bit. “H-h-hajime. Monokuma said you had the remembering disease, I-I was wondering if y-you could tell me what you remembered.” She said, absentmindedly handing Nagito a mask and gloves. He fastened it quickly, taking a moment to adjust the metal on the bridge of his nose.

“For starters, what is your name? I believe it is mikan, but I would like for you to tell me yourself.”

“H-huh?” She squeaked out, looking nervously to Nagito for guidance. 

“Yes, this is mikan tsumiki, the ultimate nurse.”

Izuru stood and went to shake her hand, “I am izuru kamakura, nice to meet you.”

She blinked at him, knees threatening to buckle as she returned the handshake, “Izuru kamakura?” She asked reluctantly as he dropped the handshake and sat back down.

“Yes, I have come to the conclusion that with this ‘remembering disease’ hajime and I have turned into the same person of sorts. Think- dissociative identity disorder for reference.”

She nodded, “I-I’m familiar, b-but does that mean h-he didn’t have a system b-b-before and remembered you?” She asked, hands still quivering in midair. 

Izuru shook their head, “not quite. I was a product of an experiment conducted by hope's peak, I was made, and Hajime’s existence was removed. We did not live simultaneously. I am unsure of how much time has passed, but somehow hajime had regained control, and with this disease, I came back to fruition.” He paused, “that is my current theory on the matter.” 

She paused, brow crinkled in thought, “l-like memory loss? S-somehow he f-forgot he was you a-and you disappeared?”

Izuru shrugged, “I’m unsure, but I do believe Hajime is still in here, it’s only a matter of time until he fronts, at least, that is what I believe.” He stated, hands folded back in his lap as he sat. “I believe that hajime will have remembered more than just my existence, I think you will need to talk with him if he comes around.”

Nagito felt nervousness creep into his brain,  _ if  _ he comes back around… it made the lucky student want to hurl thinking his best, and only friend had dissolved into nothingness. 

Mikan seemed to still be wrapping her head around the situation. “S-so what you’re saying is this di-disease has made it so you have come back around, a-and hajime has regained missing memories?” 

Izuru nodded, “I’m unsure of what situation I’m in, as previously stated I’m unsure of how much time has passed there have been multiple changes to this body, and last I knew, I had just emerged from phase one of the Kamakura project,” they finished, twisting a strand of hair behind their ear absentmindedly.

“C-changes to your body? I-if you don’t mind telling me, I-I’d like to k-know so I can have a b-better understanding of the situation.” 

“You said you’re the ultimate nurse, correct?”

She nodded, confusion plastered on her face.

“Then, to my knowledge, it’s impossible to fully reverse a mastectomy correct?”

“Y-yes, the tissue w-wouldn’t match the same a-as the original, not to mention all the scarring, w-why?”

“Well, last I was aware I had undergone a mastectomy, and a phalloplasty, along with other numerous surgeries and procedures on my body as part of the kamakura project, it seems as if all of these surgeries have been completely undone, without any doubt.” 

Mikan fidgeted with her gloves, “s-so you’re saying this body is female while previously it had undergone masculinizing surgeries a-and you’re wondering how they were undone without a-any scarring?” She finished, more curious than judgemental. 

He nodded, “I would ask you to look to see if you had picked up on anything I had missed, but I’m afraid it would violate Hajime’s sense of privacy. I would also appreciate if this knowledge didn’t leave the room.

She nodded, face suddenly flustered. “S-sorry it’s a lot to take in, I-I’m just processing eveything.”

Nagito looked to mikan, “you know what this means right?”

“H-huh? What do you mean Nagito?”

“Our situation is a lot more complicated than we originally thought.” He said, eyes focused on the ground, going over the facts in his head. “Not only did we have our memories of getting to this island removed, we are also dealing with a group that has seamlessly undone surgeries, meaning this group has high influence, and access.” He said quietly, still combing through it all in his mind. 

She nodded, looking away, “I-I’m sorry Nagito b-but i'll have to leave the I-investigating to y-you and the others, I-I’m much better at taking care of people t-than doing detective work, sorry!” She squeaked anxiously.

“Don’t worry about it mikan,” he said lightheartedly, “for now let’s just focus on helping our friends better.” He smiled, eyes almost sparkling with excitement. 

Mikan performed a basic checkup, izuru’s temperature was 102.3, which sent her into a frenzy, she found an iv, fever reducer, and things to help his immune system. When the time came to put the iv in, the amount of fear and resentment that filled Izuru’s expression was almost deadly. 

That’s when Nagito remembered how much Hajime hated hospitals, and if Izuru was a result of human experimentation… “mikan, can we do without the iv?” He quietly asked.

“W-what?” She asked, slightly shocked, and confused.

Izuru nodded, “I would much prefer if we went without it. I am okay with needles but, my chelidon is off limits.” He said, voice shaking a bit, fear coated in the slight bit of expression he allowed to slip out. 

“A-alight, but you  _ must _ stay hydrated, and if your temperature rises above 103 I don’t have a choice, alright?” She tried to bargain, hands steady as she packed away the IV. 

Izuru nodded, “thank you for understanding.” He said, laying back down, reaching over to grab a glass of water, and the medicines mikan laid out for him. He inspected each of them before consuming, as if checking her deductions were correct. 

Mikan sighed, as if relived, “o-okay, I’m going to go check back in on Ibuki and akane, and t-then run out to the pharmacy, w-will you both be alright in the meantime?” She asked nervously. 

Nagito nodded, “I’m going to run out for a bit and grab some things for Izuru, would you like me to go to the pharmacy for you instead so you can stay here?” He asked, trying his best to be helpful. 

Mikan smiled warmly, “y-yes please! That would be so much help for me! T-thank you Nagito.” She said holding her hands together in excitement. 

He chuckled, “anything to be helpful.” Nagito stood, and went to leave, “anything else you need Izuru?” The ultimate hope shook their head, finishing the glass of water. Nagito nodded and turned to Mikan, “would you mind writing down the things you need so I don’t forget any of them?” She nodded, and the pair left for the lobby. 

Nagito found a sheet of lined paper and a pen, “here, just write anything that comes to mind,” he said, sliding her the paper. Mikan nodded, and began to write out her items. 

The list mostly consisted of medical items, gloves, medicines, iv bags, needles, etc. but a few items were personal, some coloring items, coloring books, staff paper, notebooks, snacks for akane, pens, etc. it made Nagito smile knowing how much she cared for her patients. 

“Alright, i'll be back in a little while.” He waved as he shut the door to the hospital, and began the walk around the islands. He needed to pick up a few things for Izuru, and figured he may as well stop by Izuru/Hajime’s cabin for some familiar items, maybe to ease Hajime into returning. 

That, however, was not on Hajime’s agenda. 

It felt like he had just closed his eyes inside of the restaurant, he blinked and he was in a hospital room, binder off, completely alone, wrapped in a hospital gown. In a hospital. His eyes widened as he felt the effects of the disease catch up with him. His head throbbed, eyelids heavy, lungs heaving, brain fuzzy, like it was melting. His throat was on  _ fire, it _ felt raw and his entire body quivered. 

‘ _ What the fuck? Were am I? What…?’ _ He started to think, but was interrupted by a barrage of intrusive and painful memories. Chiaki. Signing up for the kamakura project, waking up in the middle of it, and being told he couldn’t go home, and suddenly ceasing to exist. He let out a choked sob, he felt his brain turn to mush. ‘ _ Is his doesn’t make sense! It doesn’t make sense how am I… alive?’  _

Hajime sat, hunched over, trying to scramble and process, feeling an intense fear of this hospital room creep into his mind.  _ ‘I have to get out I have to get out I have to get out-‘  _ his brain screamed like a mantra, he struggled to stand, feeling his knees try to buckle as they shook violently under his weight. 

He scrambled for the door uncaring that all he was wearing was a hospital gown and boxers, he  _ needed  _ to get out. A primal, animalistic fear clawed away at him, he felt himself gulp down breaths, trying to stay afloat. It all felt so far away and dizzy. He placed his hand on the doorknob as a quiet.  _ ‘Stop.’  _ Appeared in his mind.

He felt himself reel,  _ ‘hajime, stop, think, slow down.’  _

‘ _ W-who are you?’  _

_ ‘Izuru. We are one in the same now. Please. Sit back down or you will fall and hurt yourself.’  _

Trying to gasp for breath he slowly walked backwards onto the bed, sitting on the edge hyper aware of the IV in the corner of the room. 

_ ‘What’s going on here?’ _

_ ‘You have the remembering disease. I’m unsure of all of the details beyond that. Please, take a moment to breathe, there is water on the nightstand.’ _

Sure enough, there was a halfway empty glass of water, and hajime gulped it down, not realizing it was exactly what he needed.  _ ‘So. You’re… Izuru kamakura, the results of the kamakura project?’  _

_ ‘Indeed, I am you post operation. How did we get here, I would like details of were we are, who is around us, etc.’  _

_ ‘jabberwock island, it’s completely abandoned. We’re with the 77th class, we don’t know how we got here.’  _

_ ‘Interesting. Thank you.’  _

_ ‘What’s happening? How are we speaking I-I’m so confused.’  _ Hajime realized he was clutching his arms and sobbing, he took a moment to breathe, letting his grip relax. 

_ ‘Well, we’re in a hospital room, a woman named Mikan, along with a man named Nagito have been keeping me company, and taking care of me. I apologize but for medical reasons they know of..’ _

_ ‘Damn.. that sucks. How’d they take it?’ _

_ ‘Unphased, I can tell you with 100% certainty that they will not tell anyone.’ _

_ ‘Thank you.’  _ Hajime sighed, placing his head in his hands.  _ ‘Sorry to ask again, but h-how is it you’re speaking to me? How are we the same person?’ _

_ ‘I believe that you have had memories removed, therefore removing me, and bringing you back. This remembering disease has made you remember that I exist, giving us a similar situation to DID.’  _ Izuru finished, hajime mentally nodded, staring blankly at the floor. 

_ ‘I’m sorry, this is so much to take in I just.’  _ He sighed aloud, shifting to lay down. He felt his entire body throb with his heartbeat, head pounding as he tried to steady his breathing, he noticed he was crying and moved to wipe away his tears, head pounding more.

_ ‘I should probably get more water, right?’  _

_ ‘Correct, but stand slowly, steady yourself on the bed, rely on the wall if you need to.’  _

Hajime nodded, he found the courage, and moved to stand, rising slowly, he groaned in pain, realizing how much his body hated this. He released a breath, and walked slowly over to the cup, stopping a few steps in, so lightheaded he heard white noise,he closed his eyes to stop them from screwing up, and waited for it to pass.

Eventually it did, he grabbed the large plastic cup, and moved for the door, he hunched over, feeling suddenly awkward without his binder on, he felt his feet start to turn towards the pile of clothes at the foot of the bed when  _ ‘don't even think about it. You can’t wear that when you’re struggling to breathe enough anyways.’  _ Hajime mumbled in irritation, but didn’t make any more moves for it.

He sighed and walked out into the hall, noticing the path was clear, he headed for the on call room upstairs. From exploring the place the first time he took note of the sink and mini fridge in there, and realized it would be the best place to go.  _ ‘Just take it slow hajime… no need to fall hehe that would be embarrassing.’ _

_ ‘Indeed.’  _ Izuru said, humor coating their voice. 

Hajime gelt himself slowly ascend the stairs, stopping at the top of the stairs, feeling his body ache, he felt his lungs convulse, feeling the wind be knocked out of him. “-f-uck..” he wheezed out in good humor, resting against the wall, panting through his mouth. 

After what felt like an inappropriate amount of time to stand there, he finally started walking again, his body throbbing with every step. Eventually he made it to the on call room, collapsing onto a chair, feeling himself reel and spin as he sat. 

_ ‘Only a little more… okay I’ve got this!’  _ He commented inwardly, trying to hype himself up, but found it increasingly difficult to stand. Although after almost falling flat on his ass, he managed to stand, and sluggishly walk towards the mini fridge. His brain was full of goop. Everything was just so much to deal with. He just wanted a water bottle, and to go back downstairs. 

He sat the cup on the counter, and grabbed a water bottle. It should’ve been that simple, but he found it harder and harder to balance.  _ ‘Damn this is so frustrating! _ ’ He commented with irritation. 

_ ‘That is true. Would you like me to take over?’ _

_ ‘No, I’ve got it, I’m just so exhausted.’ _

_ ‘Understandable, please take your time hajime.’  _

Hajime mentally nodded, and with newfound determination he began the trek back downstairs. He felt his vision swim and white noise return to his ears as he walked down the stairs, his grip on the water bottle and the railing switched between so frail it was going to slip, and a death grip for stability. 

After what felt like years, he had made it to the bottom of the stairs. He groaned quietly,  _ ‘only a little longer, than we can take a rest. Right?’ _

_ ‘Of course hajime, you need to be resting, I understand the need to water, but this was a seemingly negative experience.’ _

_ ‘Of course it was negative!’  _ He sighed internally,  _ ‘ugh I’m ready to just sleep for forever. Hibernation doesn’t sound too bad.’  _ He began to walk again, keeping a hand on the wall for stability, eventually he reached his room. A wave of relief and exhaustion filled him.

He opened the room, to still find it empty, which was a relief. Hajime closed the door behind him, clumsily sat the water bottle down, and with a loud *whumph* landed onto the bed.  _ ‘Never before has a hospital bed felt so nice.’  _ He mentioned sleepily, feeling the cold thin sheets cool him to the core. He felt like melty butter, and without much thought, slipped into sleep, just as he had fallen onto the bed, just too tired to fidget around anymore. 


End file.
